1d12 carousing mishaps for pirate campaigns

Happy new year, everybody, carouse responsibly!

Here's a table of 12 carousing mishaps I wrote up for the current naval/pirate themed leg of our LotFP campaign. We are doing Curse of the Emerald Sea. Our Referee "crowdsourced" the carousing table, so each of us players wrote a bunch of entries. These are mine:

1. You wake up with a treasure map tattooed on your body. Roll d6 for location: 1 buttcheek, 2 forehead, 3 shoulder blade, 4 back of the head, 5 “tramp stamp”, 6 chest. The Referee secretly rolls two d6’s. The first d6 shows if the place is marked correctly on the map (1-2 yes, 3-6 no). The second d6 defines the treasure (1 pirate booty, 2 ancient prehistoric artifact, 3 time-capsule from the future, 4-6 already taken).
2. You are now wanted by the Royal Navy. Your portrait (50% chance it actually looks like you) is plastered on walls in all ports, inns, even some villages. Trouble with the authority, but “street cred” with anti-establishment types.
3. You become lovers with a mermaid or merman. At the start of every session, save vs Paralyzation or you are -1 to hit (naval sex is exhausting). If you fall into the sea, there is a 5-in-6 chance your lover saves you from drowning.
4. You gamble with the Devil. Both you and the Referee roll 2d6. Lower number wins. If you lose, the Devil collects your soul upon your death (you are marked as the Devil’s own while alive, -2 on Reaction from children, sensitives and animals). If you win, you get a gold-plated violin. If the Devil rolls snake-eyes, he takes your soul instantly and leaves you a soulless zombie. If you roll snake-eyes, the Devil is bound to serve you for one day at a time you summon him.
5. You befriend a pack of rats. They warn you if the ship you are on is about to sink. On the flipside, you now always smell of rat piss.
6. Take a card from the Deck of Weird Things. Before reading it, designate a PC or NPC as the receiver of the card’s effect. You cannot receive it yourself.
7. One of your body parts gets stuck in a giant clam, you cannot get it out until the end of the session. Roll d6: 1 right hand, 2 left hand, 3 right leg, 4 left leg, 5 nose, 6 [redacted].
8. You take part in a coconut throwing contest. Make a series of ranged attack rolls. The first roll is against AC 12, then AC 14, 16, 18… Keep going as long as you hit, and count the hits. At the end, you gain 100 sp for every hit. However, if you miss the first round (vs AC 12), you are ridiculed and unable to use ranged attacks this session.
9. You get a terrible “hangover”. Which actually means that you wake up hanging over an active volcano or a tribe’s cooking fire. Save vs Paralyze to break free, on a failure take d8 damage.
10. You anger the gods. There is a terrible thunderstorm, lasting d4 days.
11. You fall in love with a beautiful person. Turns out, it’s a ship’s figurehead. The love is still real and now you want to steal the statue from its place.
12. You are challenged to a duel over something absolutely stupid (like preferring rum and coke over rum and gunpowder). Roll d6, the fight is: 1 to the death, 2-4 to the first blood, 5-6 to disarming. You are too drunk to gauge your opponent’s skill, but they might be lower or higher level than you. If you refuse, you are a coward and Reactions to you are at -2 in this town. If you agree, roll initiative and fight the challenger (Fighter [carousing character’s level+2-d4], AC 14).