Monday, December 2, 2019

1d8 things that happen when you smoke a magic scroll

From the dynamic duo that brought you spider mutations and that skeleton interrogator table...

1d8 things that happen when you smoke a magic scroll!!

  1. Save against Magic 1d3 times: for each failure, roll on the miscast table!
  2. You can see invisible creatures and objects for 1 hour. However, you also hallucinate, so you can never tell when something is real or not.
  3. REEFER MADNESS! Record the exact number of experience points you have. From now on, instead of gaining experience points, you lose double the amount you would get (and lose levels accordingly). When you hit 0 xp, you lose your original class and become a Magic-User. Now, whenever you gain experience points, you gain the double amount until you reach the amount you had originally.
    A Magic-User getting this effect remains a Magic-User, just goes back and up again.
  4. Sweet Leaf! Your coughs always have a weird echo. You get a +1 bonus on saves against Poison.
  5. For the next 4d2 days, you consume twice as many rations, but become immune to spells that affect emotions and cognition.
  6. You cough up an object usually conjured by a stage magician! Roll 1d6: 1 white rabbit, 2 ribbon, 50' in length, 3 the Ace of Spades, 4 dove, 5 burning candle, 6 coin (worth 1 sp)
  7. Chills, not thrills! You suffer the effect of the slow spell for 1 hour, but get +1 bonus on all saves.
  8. The next monster you encounter is actually an NPC from the campaign wearing a rubber mask. You must chase each other through a non-Euclidean hallway with the Beach Boys playing in the background.


  1. These are hilarious and brilliant!

    Also, very true to life. I smoked a magic scroll dipped in a magic potion. I somehow ditched my suit, tie, and all other clothing. I lost my job as a stockbroker.

    I started my life anew at zero XP. I became a magic user and began living in a crazy-painted van down by the river. I am gradually gaining powers I never thought possible. I don't miss my necktie.