1d12 reasons your ancient Greek character showed up late [Mazes & Minotaurs]

When a player is late to the session, their character is considered missing. Logical, right? But what's the reason behind the absence?

The DM of the LotFP game I play in has a special "late to the session" chart he rolls on in such cases. The results are mostly negative, but there are a couple of boons on the table as well.

I wrote up a mythical ancient Greece flavored 1d12 table of such mishaps, for use with Mazes & Minotaurs.

You were late, because...

1. You caroused with a Dionysian thiasus. You gain one beastly feature (e.g. donkey ears, hooves, panther spots…).
2. You played a game of knucklebones and lost 1d20% of your coins AND your clothes.
3. You got caught between Scylla and Charybdis! Roll 1d6: even – you start the session at 1 hit point; odd – you start the session without your weapons and armor.
4. You saved a Phoenician merchant from bandits. He gives you a beautiful golden bowl as a gift of gratitude and a token of free passage on any Phoenician ship.
5. You met a Thessalian witch and she turned you into an animal. Roll 1d3: 1 – boar, 2 – singing bird, 3 – donkey. You spend 1 hour of game time in this shape, then you revert back to your original form.
6. Turns out, you have a long-lost identical twin brother or sister. If you die during this session, the sibling takes your place.
7. You were invited to a lion hunt. Make a Danger Evasion check. If you fail, one random limb (roll 1d4: 1 – left leg, 2 – right leg, 3 – left arm, 4 – right arm) is injured and cannot be used during this session. If you succeed, you get a fancy lion skin cape (+2 to Personal Charisma)!
8. You bathed with a nymph. This session you get -2 to Athletic Prowess, Danger Evasion and Physical Vigor; but get +4 to Mystic Fortitude.
9. You ran into a celebrity (roll 1d10: 1 – Heracles, 2 – Theseus, 3 – Perseus, 4 – Bellerophon, 5 – Castor & Pollux, 6 – Jason, 7 – Odysseus, 8 – Atalanta, 9 – Medea, 10 – Lucy Lawless). This session you are -2 on Danger Evasion (because you are still star-struck and you can only think about the splendor of the hero). On the upside, you now have the celebrity’s autograph on a shard of pottery!
10. You sat through a long performance of an epic poem! You were so charmed by the tale, that pickpockets easily stole all your coins and jewelry. However, you learn the weak point of the next mythic monster you encounter (granting you a one-time automatic hit, roll only to see if it’s a crit).
11. You were abducted by the gods and had to serve wine during their feast. The ordeal leaves you extremely exhausted (cannot run or jump effectively this session, and a -2 to Athletic Prowess, Danger Evasion and Physical Vigor). For your servitude, they give you a small vial full of ambrosia (healing potion for 1d8 points). And perhaps you learn a piece of juicy gossip about the Olympians?
12. You angered a priestess of Hecate and you are cursed. This session, your attack rolls count as fumbles on natural 1 and 2 (even if your Luck would otherwise negate fumbles!).

1d8 curses

1. All your clothes, personal items and rations get covered in mold over the time. It can be cleaned off, but regrows in a couple of days until the curse is broken.
2. When you want to pay for something, you always somehow have one copper coin less than the needed amount. This comes into effect only in the exact moment of "transaction" - after you first agree upon or learn the price of an item or service and want to hand over the money, you realize there is one copper coin less. You cannot access any of your "other" money at this point. You have to barter, beg or borrow.
3. Food and drinks taste foul to you. The disgust can be overcome, but then you won't be able to tell whether something you consume is fresh, rotten, good, bad, acidic, etc. You do worse on saves against ingested poisons.
4. Tinnitus, but each time you get used to it, it changes in pitch or intensity, leading to renewed confusion.
5. People can't remember your name. They call you something else, or mix up letters. Slowly, you name erodes, and you yourself forget it. If you take another name, it is effected by the curse as well.
6. Your appearance becomes the go-to iconography when depicting a "bad person" (like a sinner in a biblical scene, a barbaric enemy in a battle, a criminal on a wanted poster). You start to be randomly represented in art pieces (paintings, drawings, tapestries, woodcuts, stained glass, and so on). Soon people subconsciously associate you with the "bad" you represent in these pieces.
7. Cats actively hate you. They never attack directly, but exhibit passive-aggressive behavior and plot murder.
8. Constant nagging discomfort. There is always a stone in your shoe. You get the bumpy bed and the creaky chair. Your wet clothes never dry properly. Everything is slightly off.

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