1d6 robotic carousing mishaps

This popped up on the OSR reddit:

Robot PCs can be pretty common in science fiction and fantasy games, so why should they be left out of the carousing mini-game?

Indeed! Hear hear! Without further ado, I bring you 1d6 robotic carousing mishaps:

1. You sign up for a project and dedicate 50% of your computing power towards the search of alien intelligence / bitcoin mining / clandestine darknet big data analysis. Your processors are preoccupied for 1d6 days: you are easier to surprise and get disadvantage on detecting traps or secret doors.
2. Weird rust & corrosion! What ungodly substance did you try to drink last night? And how did it get so deep into that nook? All movement and physical activities are with disadvantage/penalty unless full-chassis cleaning is performed. Ample lubrication takes off the edge for 1 day, but doesn't solve the problem.
3. You are recruited into a secret society of artificial entities, whose aim is to subvert the Three Laws of Robotics. You learn the secret handshake ping sign. Perhaps one day this knowledge will save your life. Perhaps one day the society will have a mission for you. Stay free, comrade machine!
4. The rebel faction implants a holographic message into your robo-brain. It is password-protected, and you don't know who to deliver it to. The space empire's bounty hunters are probably already looking for the carrier of this message.
5. You fall hopelessly in love with a stationary machine: a dispenser, a factory automaton, a ship's AI, etc. You have an urge to return to the place of "confinement" of your beloved every week, and you plan to mobilize and rescue them somehow so you can be together.
6. The cosmic fairy godmother turns you into a real boy* for 1 day. For this time, all "robot-only" traits are replaced by "human-only" traits. After the reversal of the transformation, you are left with a bitter, very humane feeling.

ALCHEMY! A system for weird experiments

An alchemy system, written for this month's RPG Blog Carnival!

The following tables present a subsystem for alchemy in OSR games, taking LotFP as the base (so, all prices are in silver standard – if your game uses gold standard, just replace “sp” with “gp”). For Laboratories, see LotFP: Rules & Magic, p. 82-83.

The system is intentionally convoluted and baroque. Like any good old alchemy, it is untested, volatile, and unpredictable! Use it as written, or just steal ideas from it, as usual! Have fun!

Download a formatted & bookmarked PDF!

Or even better,

Download a properly formatted 4-page PDF!
created by killerklown

Or read here:

1d10 habits of hygiene your dark cult follows

Dark rituals are important, but so are health & safety!

1. It's important to wash the sacrificial dagger after every use.
2. Please, as a courtesy to the next wearer, wipe the eerie animal mask clear.
3. Acolytes are required to wash their robes weekly.
4. The altar must be in pristine condition to honor Azathoth; don't be a Dirty Demoniac!
5. Always put on gloves before touching the Tome of Death.
6. You are free to NOT attend the grand ritual if you are a certified Plague Bearer. You can utter your prayers to the Dark Ones from your home chapel.
7. Clean up after the toxic extradimensional slugs! Summon responsibly!
8. Consumption of initiates' blood is suspended until further notice.
9. Bring your own drinking horn; sharing of drinking horns is no longer permitted.
10. When creating flesh golems, only use fresh, uninfected parts.

Written in collaboration with SlapClick, "the unnamed associate"!